One of the first things I learned when I started homeschooling my kids was that I had to unlearn a lot. 

 

 

The early years were tough. It was so new, and I didn’t know many people who were also homeschooling, so it felt like I was striking out on my own in many ways. That’s also why I’m writing this now…in case any of you out there feel the same way. I’m by no means an expert in this area, but I’ve been homeschooling for 16 years and have made many mistakes along the way. I’m feeling called to offer them to you now so that you can avoid the pitfalls that tripped me up in those first few years. When my family and I first started down this path, I believed a lot of lies about what homeschooling “should” and shouldn’t be, so I thought this would be a unique opportunity to share how God used those lies and helped me turn them into practical truths:

 

Lie: I have to be like other families.

Truth: You’re not them. You’re you, and your family’s needs are different. I wanted to be like other families that seemed to have it all together, and I thought that’s what would be best for our family. Even as I type, it sounds funny! But we are all tempted to want what others have. God did not make a mistake with our family, nor did he make one with yours. No one family is perfect, and trust me, my kids will tell you my many mistakes! You are one unit, so try to move like yours, not someone else’s. By trying to be like someone you’re not, you’ll only exhaust yourself and cause way more anxiety for you, your kids and your husband. Yes, it means that your neighbours may peek out the window during ‘recess’, wondering if you are really doing school with the kids. Yes, you’ll get raised eyebrows every now and again. But you have to be determined that this is YOUR family that God has entrusted to you, so take care of it as a mother hen cares for her brood! We are called to be the caretakers of our ‘nest,’ and that may look very different for every family, as it should. Rest in that!

 

Lie: curriculum dictates what my kids have to learn. 

Truth: curriculum is there to inspire, not to control you. Homeschooling is not always a one-stop shop. I learned relatively quickly that each child has a unique inclination toward one subject or another, and along with that, a learning style that’s suited by God, not by the rest of the world’s standards. Each child is uniquely created by God, for God, and even in the curriculum choices I made, I wanted to make sure to bless my children and make it exciting, fun, interesting, applicable as I ground them in the basics. At one point I was juggling five different learning needs, interests, and skills of my children, and I had to learn to let go of my expectations for each child. I sought advice all along, and sometimes really had to work hard at letting it all go and just giving it to God. Let the curriculum unfold, make mistakes, and then talk them out with others! Each family has something that has worked for them that just may be the fit you were looking for. The curriculum options are a gift, not a chain that binds you.

 

Lie: others have a say in my home. 

Truth: Don’t let the negative voices declare lies in your home. As soon as you make the decision to homeschool, you will have eyes all over you from strangers, acquaintances, family and friends. Instantly you are NOT NORMAL, and there is something wrong with you and your family for daring to take your kids out of school and teach them at home. I took all those perceptions to heart for a long time, and let me tell you, they dragged me down. Negativity is tough, especially from others that appear well-meaning, and it can get inside you and turn into self-doubt as you teach a subject that you’re not entirely comfortable with, whispering that maybe someone else is better suited to teach your kids after all. As I faced tears of frustration during math lessons, I would think I should quit, and then feel guilty (does anyone else relate??). But, even though it might feel that way sometimes, you’re not alone. You can always ask for help, and reach out to other homeschool families for guidance. We had so many wonderful teachers through homeschool co-ops, activities and private classes, but that didn’t stop me from feeling weighed down by what others were saying about what I was doing. I had to trust that If God calls us, he equips us! I had to learn to hold homeschooling lightly and let God be the principal of the home. In the end, He was our rock and fortress, not the naysayers. 

 

Lie: my classroom has to be perfect. 

Truth: replicate Christ, not perfection. As a teacher, creating a space for my students was the most important aspect of my first day of school. I worked hard to arrange every last detail to make it an inviting place that encouraged joy, fun, peace and creativity. But homeschooling is not conventional, and the space you do it in doesn’t have to be either! Not every home may have a separate area that can be a dedicated classroom, and I’ve seen so many different, creative ways that moms have been able to teach, and to store their curriculum. Every home is different and that’s what is so beautiful about this journey. It’s different for everyone, and that’s okay. There’s an element of flexibility that can come into play as well, and while there’s nothing wrong with routine and structure. When you have more than one child at home and you are homeschooling, it likely means you have babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and kids in grade school, so you already have to be flexible. Rainy days can be a chance to get a little more creative with art or baking, and last-minute playdates with other homeschool families are always a blessing.

As moms, we all believe lies, whether we’re homeschooling or not! Sometimes they are deeply imprinted on us from various life events that we then carry into our mothering. We bring memories, fears, unworthiness, anxiety, hurts, unanswered prayers and questions about God and life’s journey into our homes, and that’s normal. Recently I’ve been asked about why I decided to embark on this journey in the first place, and it may be a question that you’ve asked yourself as well. When God tapped me on the shoulder to consider homeschooling, I felt ill-equipped for it. I already believed those lies, and I hadn’t even crossed the starting line!

 

It was always my intention to stay home with my kids, but as usual, God had other plans for me. Initially, my two older boys attended some wonderful early years programs and entered JK and grade one at a local Christian school. All was well until it was not. My youngest was not adapting to the long, full days (and they were also alternating, which did not help him). This difficulty adjusting continued for most of the year until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I have always disliked waking babies from naps, but many times I had to do just that in order to shuffle my eldest to and from school, and I felt so much mom guilt from dragging my baby along for the carpooling. 

 

My sister was the one who initially opened me up to the possibility of homeschooling and had chosen to homeschool not long before we did. Connecting with her was beginning to plant a seed, and after many discussions with my husband, with the school and with God, by March break, we had decided to undertake the transition to homeschooling. We agreed to take it one year at a time, resting in the knowledge that school wasn’t going anywhere and we could always go back to it if needed. Once we decided, I was relieved and at peace, yet I was also scared, and the lies began to creep in: am I good enough? What will others think? I cannot manage a home and homeschool at the same time. I’m not a numbers person at all; how am I supposed to teach math? Now, we’re 16 years into this unexpected, incredible journey, and looking back, I can see how beneficial it was for my kids and for our family as a whole. 

 

My son was a different kid once we brought him home. It was as though a wave of peace rolled over him, and the anxiety that he was beginning to manifest was literally gone. I can only explain that God had his mighty hand on this wee soul and on my mama’s heart. We began our journey together. Through all the hills and valleys, I would not trade the memories and experiences for anything. Not every family is meant to take this path, and that IS OKAY! 

We need to replace the lies with truth, and in part two, I will be sharing the way that I have tried try to take hold of these lies and replace them in four ways:

1. Explore
2. Connect
3. Create
4. Vision

Move as one family unit and at the same time create space for individuality in your children. It will bless you in years to come!

 

Psalm 103:17-19

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

One response to “Lies I believed, the truths I received through homeschooling”

1. So thoughtfully said in first person-.your story. And sharing it to others who will benefit! So glad you did it and how it was right for your family.

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