If you would have asked me about becoming a mom when I was a little girl I heartily would have said, ‘Yes!’. What I didn’t know was that early on I was already preparing for the role. What? How? Our girls are also preparing for their future roles even today through friendships, family, habits and choices. They may not ever be a mom or a wife, that is not up to us to determine. God has the perfect plan for each one of our girls that we have to entrust into his hands. Perhaps you are thinking that I am jumping ahead here! Our girls are so young and motherhood is not coming anytime soon. True, but what we can do today is focus on three aspects that shape our daughters and prepare them for the potential role of motherhood. I was blessed to have community, connections and consistency thanks to parents that cultivated a home that encouraged opportunities so my siblings and I would be ready for the next role in life.

Community, Connecting, Consistency

Community came quite naturally in our home. Our neighborhood was full of kids on bikes, in and out of our backyard, playing kick-the-can until dark, meeting up at the park down the street and roller skating the streets until we wore the stoppers off (any former roller skaters out there?!). This was an early beginning of understanding the strength community provides. Did we always get along with our friends and neighbours? No, but we learned quickly that this was a safe place to build relationships that my parents encouraged. This is a stepping stone for our daughters to build community right where they are today and hopefully become more natural as they grow. Our world is different today, I acknowledge that we can’t re-create our own childhoods for our girls, but we can take pieces of it and find ways to incorporate it today.

Connecting  for me means being more intentional. Our community also included church and extended family and this was something my parents intentionally chose to be in our world. It requires effort to connect. This will also leave an imprint for future connections that will bless our girls in the years ahead as they navigate their own homes. Connecting means going deeper with relationships socially, emotionally and spiritually. I observed these connections my mom and dad had with others and that has had a lasting impact. If you have community you can connect and therefore will have the opportunity to be consistent.

Consistency can be lived out initially in your own home and from there extend into your neighbourhood, church, hobbies/activities, school, extended family, friends and jobs. This means showing up, being present, listening and working hard. Isn’t this what is required in motherhood?! Our weekly connections through church, activities and friends/family gave me a sense of security. Even if your growing years were unstable or inconsistent, the opportunity we have today is to make the best attempts possible to provide community, connections and consistency with the perspective of the future in mind for our girls. I don’t begin to say this is an easy task. If begins with prayer. Asking God to show you how to connect your daughter early on and allowing him to be the manager of our days. Laying a foundation will be part of what enables our daughters to navigate the hills and valleys that accompany life. She will need these three areas, I know that I do!

In their hearts humans plan their course,
    but the Lord establishes their steps. (Proverbs 16:9 NIV)

One particular moment that I am forever grateful for began 21 years ago when two moms with new baby boys joined a moms and babies class. We did not know one another, but by God’s grace, we met and from that day on we have been dear friends. I could have stayed hunkered in with my new baby. I was exhausted, low self-esteem navigating post-birth body and worried about nursing in public. This new phase in my life was worth sharing with others, I just had to make the effort. I had no idea just how precious this relationship would become. I could have missed out. We have leaned on one another and shared the twists and turns that motherhood brings. We had community, we connected and have been consistent. My mom was there that day too and affirms for me her desire to lead me toward these three C’s early in life, as a young mom and even today!

As I reflect, I can see the how early on I was being prepared for the role of a mom through so many different situations and relationships. I admit fully that once becoming a mom I realized just how much I did not know and leaning on others was my only option to navigate this new role. What a gift to have people in our lives to walk with us through our seasons!

2 responses to “Motherhood begins before motherhood”

1. Love Love Love
   So touching to reflect with you what you’ve written
   So many of your reflections etched in my mind too. And your kids will reflect back too.
   As a child He is with us every step of the way, preparing us , our kids for down the road. He has , He will continue . I too can vouch for His loving truth worthiness.

   Reply

   • Thank you for showing us His love over all these years!
     xo

     Reply