“Becoming a mother has allowed me to share elements of my soul I never planned and see corners of my heart I never knew existed.”

I was aware of my impatience. And then, I had children. Conscious of this growing habit, I realized that I could not keep living this way by passively ignoring it. I was tolerating sin in my life that was seeping into the hearts of those I loved most. As my children interacted, I saw the negative effects of my impatient words or actions right before my eyes. It pierced my heart and convicted me to change. But the question was: how do I change?

 Character growth was always a purposeful focus through my years growing up. I wanted to maintain that momentum while raising five children to the best of my flawed ability. Let’s just say that good intentions proved to be a beginning, but a daily struggle.

Parenting on purpose requires action. It’s taking the time to nurture your own soul first through His Word, so the Holy Spirit can work to convict, challenge and change you before you run off to point out the flaws of the rest of the household. With demands coming at every angle, the creativity and time it takes to do this can seem impossible.

Many times, I’d find myself settling in with my bible, journal and coffee before the sound of feet shuffling to the kitchen would call me out of my time into their time. In a moment, ‘me’ would take a backseat. Too many times I was unwilling to put myself aside, which requires a thankful heart, and not a selfish one.  Putting them first creates opportunity for selflessness that parenting often requires. If I acknowledged them as an interruption, how will I expect them to welcome their siblings, friends and others into their lives? It would create a spirit of selfishness, every person for themselves.

Often I would neglect time in the Word. Precious friends would remind me to draw near to Jesus first and then lean into my day not only with words but with actions in all the simple, seemingly mundane moments. It’s important to remember our children are watching and learning from us daily. James 1:22-24 speaks so well on how we need to hear the Word and act,

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”

I do not forget what I look like when I walk away from a mirror. However, I do forget what my facial expression may be when I speak unkindly or act impatiently towards my children. I want to faithfully listen to the Word and do what it says. That is hard purposeful parenting, but worth the effort when our gaze is on Jesus (Psalm 34:5). It is exhausting when activated only on your own strength. Seek Him first, fill up your mind with the knowledge from His Word and walk forward, one step at a time. He gives us just what we need. Philippians 4:19, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”  That is a truth I want to parent with actively. Trust His ways as you pursue purposeful parenting.