We met 31 years ago hanging around the camp flag pole at Muskoka Woods. Dating began in our early 20’s and we celebrate 25 yrs July 19th. This man is a gift. He always has been. A courageous leader, a loving father and devoted husband. Our hills and valleys have lead us into unchartered territory many times, but together. Each time we come out of these moments with scars that turn into learning curves so we will be better next time, joy and laughter that adds the happy wrinkles and a fierce dependence on our heavenly Father. Together we build our house not on sinking sand, but on Christ our solid rock. He wears his heart on his sleeve that the kids eagerly take hold of and I see as a precious reminder of his adoring love. We are always learning, failing, seeking forgiveness and grace. Marriage is a blessing from God that has brought two imperfect sinners together. But the Lord is our center, our hope and our grace, “We love because he first loved us, (1 John 4:19).  I am thankful for our seasons of motherhood and fatherhood that we have lived (and continue to) live out daily together.  Today he shares a letter to his younger self that will encourage fathers of any age, but particularly to younger men. Thank you my dear husband for sharing your heart today! Welcome to the blog, the first Seasons of Fatherhood! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Younger Me

My bride of  just over a month away, 25 years, asked if I would consider penning a letter to myself, a
younger version of myself  for her to share and post. Specifically, the ask was writing to myself as a
younger father – of course, coinciding with Father’s Day might be a bonus. Sandee’s motives in her own
writing and connecting journey of life are often unique, and I think her motive here is that I may be able
to reflect on myself as a younger father, yet perhaps plant a seed, say something not thought of, or
perhaps compelling to another not yet a father or maybe speak to a father early on in their journey.
I need to state that I’ve never really considered myself a “compelling” individual. I think “why would
anyone want to read or listen to anything I have to say?” Yet these are words to myself so I don’t have
to worry about that!
By way of short introduction, I’m husband to Sandee, father of five, and just celebrated my 27 th year in
our family business, a 7th generation Canadian family business focused primarily on meat production. So
here it goes, a letter from a meathead to a younger meathead.
When in love as a husband and praying about the next potential phase in life of becoming a parent, I
look back and remember not exactly embarking on a journey of preparation. Is there a go to book
outside of the Holy Bible providing a roadmap to fatherhood? Ah, therein lies what I need to share with
a younger me….everything you need to know can be found and learned through our Almighty Father,
and this reality NEVER changes.

Dear younger me,

Prepare for patience. I recall a moment of great failure as a new father. I’m sure
any parent of a new baby can attest……it’s late at night, exhaustion has set in, new Mom is fighting a
fever, and nothing seems to be going right. We finally get to sleep and a hungry baby postures
(screaming) to be fed. Said moment of failure includes angrily striking foot board of the bed, woah is
me, having to get up to retrieve our little one. The foot board cracked pretty badly and was never the
same years later. Preparing for patience would have solved this ridiculous moment in your life, meathead!

Dear younger me,

Prepare for laughter…….more specifically, learn to laugh at yourself! I mean,
seriously, taking it to the bed foot board in the dark in hindsight, is pretty darn funny. I can only
imagine the sense of humour our Heavenly Father MUST have relative to you alone and all the
blunders He’s seen as you navigate life as a young father.

Dear younger me,

Prepare to provide. Admittedly, your understanding of provision today is light
years deeper and better than early fatherhood days. Luke 10:13 reads “If you then, who are evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy
Spirit to those who ask him!” Over time as a husband and father, as you remain and always will be a
work in progress, realize that providing means you parent with Christ at the forefront and pray
diligently that your children will adapt in these incredibly challenging times to live in this world well
rather than be of it. As is written “to whom much is given, much will be required” (Luke 12:48). To the
younger me, as you enter the journey of being a father, hear these wise words spoken and realize we
are held to account and responsible for what we have and how we provide.

Dear younger me,

Seek care and return it just the same. This can be a challenge. Often as a young
man, let alone a young father, if you don’t surround yourself with reciprocal, caring, and mentoring
men, that allow you to sharpen iron together, it can be easy to turn onto a rocky road. Friendship needs to be reciprocal – make sure you work at friendship and take the lead. Over time, the blessing of good, quality, character, God-fearing men in your life will pay unimaginable dividends.

Dear younger me,

Prepare for the speed of change. Many days I fear I’ve failed our 5 children,
enabling them, not purposefully, with what I thought was a responsible approach to media options –
video games turn to iphones, ipads, and more “fingertip” options than you will ever imagine possible.
The speed at which technology and information will bring you to your knees…..literally……bearing this
never ending burden requires seeking wisdom from others more. Don’t stop seeking that wisdom, and
do your best to apply that wisdom unapologetically with each of your children. Be prepared for a
rough ride.
Sandee and I have a family verse – Isaiah 43:2 – “as you pass through the water, I will be with you…..” –
Sandee even surprised our family years ago, incorporating this verse in a family crest she had
commissioned. I wish the younger father version of me, actually if the truth be known, even the current
version of me included, would parent moment to moment with the calmness Isaiah 43:2 has the power
to provide. Grace, oh the grace the Lord has and continues to extend to me is miraculous. I believe only
Jesus Christ himself offers such miraculous grace. I realize these penned words to myself are pretty
basic. The truth is I’m pretty basic at days end.

Dear younger me,

Keep it simple, honour God. Prepare yourself through prayer and opening the
Word so much more than you even do today. Love unconditionally when you don’t want to. Say these
words often and act on them, “Reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously, and accept
the greater reward, God’s reward” – you know of where they came!

(Quote taken from: The Quest for the Authentic Manhood Series)

 

Our family Crest

 

2 responses to “Seasons of Fatherhood: Guest Post with Duncan Macgregor”

1. Dear Dunc- isn’t it good we don’t stay in our past… there it is in reflection and learning. But surely will not stay there but as you expressed-walk with Him in the present He has given us and build for the future. God is already there . You and Sandee are leading by example through thick and thin. Thank God for His Spirit in us to help us navigate the roles He’s given us. Special Father’s Day Greetings ox mom

   Reply

   • Reflection is key! I learn from his moments of looking back! xo

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