Cousins have a wonderful way of becoming a unique blend of family and friends. This is the case with Cliff, my cousin; he and his wife (Stef) are our dearest friends. We have experienced the highs and lows of life together side by side since I can remember. The laughter and tears have held us through the most wonderful of times and the lowest of lows. New Year’s Eve has always been a special tradition as we welcomed a new year with our families and made a unique tradition to dedicate the upcoming year to God. It is much more challenging as our kids grow up to keep that tradition alive, but I believe we will always be venturing to make new ones when we can! Cliff has always been more than a cousin, like a big brother speaking life and wisdom when I needed it the most. He has always been a wonderful listener, and his laughter lingers long after he leaves. He is a God-fearing man of integrity, courage, determination and incredible musicianship. For years when Cliff and his family would come over to our home when we first moved to Ontario in the mid-’80s, we would beg him to play and sing, sorry, Cliff! We just loved hearing your voice. I admit I still do that. When they are over here at our place or up north, the guitar comes out, the music floods the room, and all are blessed beyond words.

Cliff has always used his musical gifts to honour the Lord, and he continues to do that today as Pastor of Worship and Communications at Hope Bible Church in Oakville.  I look back and marvel at how God orchestrated that our lives would intersect as they have from attending Trinity Western University at the same time, Duncan and Cliff becoming best friends and the gift that Stef has been over the years. They are our trustworthy and prayer warrior friends. Cliff and Stef have four children, and Cliff has some solid words of encouragement to share today. Fatherhood is a balance that takes years to figure out! Cliff honestly shares his heart, and I am confident you will be encouraged and blessed. It is an honour to welcome Cliff Cline to Seasons of Fatherhood on the blog today!

 

Cliff is the Pastor of Worship and Communications at Hope Bible Church in Oakville, Ontario. He is married to Stef, and together, they have four children.

https://linktr.ee/cliffcline

 

One of the hardest things I have had to learn as a father, and I am still learning it, is that my children’s obedience to me is not how they honour me. Their obedience to God and to His ways, in spite of my very imperfect example of the same, is how they honour us as Christian parents.

My instinct to anger or frustration when blind obedience is not their automatic response is in fact sinful on my part. I am not granting grace to my children as the beautiful gifts God has given me, grace that I have been richly blessed with from my heavenly Father. Instead, my responses can sometimes be graceless and pride-filled reactions.

I remember watching the Sound of Music growing up. When I saw the Captain’s children line up after he blew the whistle, I sadly latched onto that vision of fatherhood. I thought children who feared and respected me with blind obedience was the goal. I missed the point of the rest of the character development of the father in that movie.

The sad fact is that early in my parenting, I was trying to be a god to my children. Who should my children truly fear and respect? Not me, but rather the one true God, of course. 

Pointing our children to God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in love is winning; anything else is the slow creep of wanting to be worshipped ourselves, and that will always end badly for them and for us. 

When my goal as a dad is to show my children how following God’s ways works and how rejecting God’s ways does not work – always in love – it actually takes the pressure off me as a father. God can shape and change their hearts and minds in ways I never could. 

We need to be parents who say along with Paul, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” 1 Cor. 11:1

 

Links for Cliff Cline!

https://ca.thegospelcoalition.org/worship-god/episode-34-battling-burnout-feat-cliff-cline/

 

https://www.twu.ca/news-events/news/twu-alumni-spotlight-cliff-cline-speaks-how-worship-more-just-about-music

https://www.youtube.com/user/cliffcline

A Song of Surrender

 

Where My Hope Comes From