Our friendship dates back many years to our time at a church in south Mississauga. Since I can remember, our mothers have been dear friends and prayer warriors. We lived in the same neighbourhood, and are moms prayed for countless hours for our families. I firmly believe we are where we are as a direct result of all the prayers. Erin and I connected when we had younger families at the local YMCA, where homeschool moms and kids gathered for a weekly swim program, rock climbing, and indoor gym activities. While the kids were active, we chatted, prayed, and shared our moments and days. The friendship is a beautiful gift for me and my youngest daughter Katie as Erin’s secondborn is Katie’s BFF!  The girls had even more time to bond through a homeschool co-op I led, as did the moms! While the kids were in their classes at the co-op, we were in Bible study, growing together in the Word and with one another. Covid threw a massive wrench into our lives, I stepped down from leadership at the co-op, allowing time for something new to develop, and once we were able to connect again, we did! I proposed meeting weekly at my place and continuing our co-op. Click here for a post about this. We met weekly for learning scenarios such as art, science, Canadian studies, lunch and play. It was a creative and meaningful time. Today I am thrilled to welcome Erin to the Seasons of Motherhood Series to share her heart about how God redeems our time.

 

 

Erin Tee is a stay-home mother, married for 16 years.  She and her husband have four children, ages 14 to 3 years, whom they have homeschooled from the beginning.   She graduated from Sheridan College, specializing in electronic technology, working in audio/video installations and repairs.  She is passionate about music, playing flute and piano, and dabbling in guitar and bass.  She has had the joy of participating with church worship teams in various ways, from leading worship and aiding musically to helping with audio and has, in more recent years, occasionally spoken at ladies’ events.  Currently, she and her family attend Heritage Grace church in Woolwich County.

 

 

 

 

Time?

 

“But when do you find time for yourself?” a young mom asks while our kids play. New to the homeschooling adventure, she is thrilled to find another, more seasoned homeschooling family with whom to share her apprehensions and ask questions. And yet, I can’t help but feel like I am far from “seasoned.” My oldest is only in grade eight, and this is the first year I actually feel a little more sure of myself. However, I was still left with the question, how do I find time for myself? So often, I find myself simply surrendering my time, and in many cases, my desires, to the needs of my family and others. And that tends to be my tip to new expectant parents when they ask.

The transition into parenthood is much easier if one accepts the self-sacrificial element of it all. The sacrifice of sleep, eating, and basic hygiene! When my children were still small, I constantly felt so deflated, attempting in vain to cling to my own schedule, my time, the old way of doing things, my “old self”. I felt like my identity was slipping away as I became merely an extension of my children’s needs. The moment I loosened my grip on “my wants”and replaced it with grace for the stage of life I was in, I felt released from a lot of frustration. The only problem with that is there is a very fine line between graceful self-sacrifice and standing on the doorstep of the subservient level. How could I both serve my family and be a “helper” to my husband without rapidly becoming a slave to them all? There are times I would collapse on the kitchen floor late at night, exhausted, alone, in tears, with a mound of dishes to be cleaned, an overwhelming clutter of toys scattered around,
and the home in near disarray. Other times, I would scrub the counters late in the evening, knowing this would be the only “me time” I would have for the entire day. What could I have said to that younger self? Every good gift comes from the Father above (James 1:17). I struggled for a long time to understand the meaning of that Bible passage. How was it that everything good comes from God? Did it mean that He was entitled to every single good thing that happened? Wasn’t it all just by chance, whether something happened for the good or bad? Did He demand credit for every good thing that occurred in this world? No. That is not what that verse is saying. The enemy desires nothing but power and destruction. He despises The Lord and everything The Lord loves, and he will do everything in his power to tear down and turn as much of God’s creation against Him as he possibly can. He roams this earth, searching for anything he can “devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Anything that comes from the Devil is tethered to evil intentions. Even things that appear good, he will attempt to twist and distort until the good that it originally was is no longer visible.

God, on the other hand, is pure in goodness and complete in righteousness, holiness, justice, mercy, and love. In this broken and fallen world, where the enemy runs free, any good thing that breaks through is nothing short of a gift from God. For in the beginning, when He created the Heavens and the Earth and everything in it, He called it good. This world is imprinted with The Lord’s fingerprints. When good emerges, it can’t help but shine the light of Christ. The trouble is, in everything God designed for good, the Devil attempts to distort and bend toward evil and brokenness with all his might. Marriage, children, family, the church community, and even fruitful work were all intended for good. Each of those things brings us joy in companionship and brings us satisfaction and the benefits that accompany a job well done. But don’t we see time and time again marriages broken, animosity between children and parents, families torn apart, resentment and judgement within the church, a task list that seemingly never ends nor satisfies. We live in a broken world, and many of our days are going to come with their share of challenges and mishaps. Yet, there is a quiet reminder that every good gift comes from the Father above. In those challenging moments, could we reclaim our marriages as a gift from God and our children as our delight, as we remind ourselves that God Himself delights in us and calls us His very own beloved children. Could we band together as a church, being reminded that we are a body, with Christ as the head, working with Him to nurture discipleship and further His kingdom, His family? Could we be reminded of the miraculous reality that if we claim Christ as our Saviour, we truly are a child of God, and our new identity outshines any old label we or anyone else could ever try to give us? Does it give us restful peace knowing that His Spirit of perfect love is with us in every moment of every night and day? Does it empower and strengthen us to carry on by holding tight to the promise that Christ supplies all our needs? Yet, we are left with that lingering question, where does a busy homeschool mom who jumps from teaching to cooking to cleaning to bedtime battles find “me time”? It comes in the quietness of daily tasks, the outdoor excursions with the children, the impromptu conversations with neighbours, and the somewhat interrupted and bustling visits with friends. When I shift my focus from “my needs” to God’s desires, my ideology changes. When I focused on the gifts God had given me, a home, my family, my children, and my friends, I began to care for and love them more.

There are moments now every day when I look at each one of my children and am hit with the reality that this time is short; these moments are precious, and each one is a gift from God. I know it is not an easy thing to do. I have shed tears out of sheer exhaustion, been exasperated
and frustrated by uncompleted tasks as they pile up, and whispered countless prayers desperate for God’s strength when I was completely empty. But I find most days, I reach the end and realize that although I had absolutely no “alone time”, I do not feel empty. In the busyness of motherhood to young children, The Lord quietly supplies my needs and graciously gives me peace, joy, and satisfaction of which I thought only came from the quietness of being alone. Is it not just like God to open a door where all we saw was a vast wall, and to give us an inner-quietness and unexplainable peace even in the chaos of a noisy and busy home? Isn’t it like God to remind us that He loves to give good gifts (reunited friendship and eternal life with Him being one of the best) and that every good gift comes from Him?

 

Friendship memories

Art Adventures