Seasons of Motherhood with Julie Bonany

After you meet Julie I guarantee you will walk away with a smile. Her joyful countenance and uplifting spirit will carry you into your next moment and you will have seen Jesus in her! We have crossed paths over the years in unique situations. One of my favourite connections is through church where I met her mom Linda, a true prayer warrior.  Julie’s mom taught me the power of prayer and depending on the Lord, always. Julie carries this with her now into her own family and work life on a daily basis. More recently, we met at a book launch for a mutual friend and rekindled our connection. I love how God does that on purpose! We had an opportunity to catch up and that is when I found out about her role as Executive Director at Pregnancy & Resource Centre Brant. It was wonderful to hear about her family updates and what is going on with PRC Brant. It is my privilege to introduce you to Julie Bonany today and welcome her to the Seasons of Motherhood Blog Series. Her words are full of hope and will encourage you immensely! Thank you Julie for sharing your story with us.

 

Julie Bonany has been serving at the PRC Brant for over seven years now.  She started
out as a volunteer and then moved into one of the Support Rooms as a Client Advocate.
 In January of 2017, Julie became the Associate Director and transitioned to Executive
Director in June 2018. Julie met her husband Dave when they were serving at a summer
camp and married two years later. They have three adult children, Ashley (married to
Jacob), Christopher, and Josh (married to Raygen) and three scrumptious grandchildren;
Lilianna (4), Everett (2) and Eden (1). When she is not working at the centre she enjoys
reading, long chats with friends over coffee, exercising, camping, canoeing, and her new
favourite pastime of snuggling with her grandchildren.  Julie feels greatly privileged to be
able to serve at the centre and to serve God in whatever capacity He is calling her to.

Pregnancy & Resource Centre Brant

♥

Have you ever struggled with thoughts of “I’m not good enough” or “God could never use me”?  Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone!  I grew up in a fairly stable family, yet believed certain lies about myself that caused me to make decisions that would literally impact the rest of my life. 

I found myself pregnant not once, but twice in my early teens.  I had always grown up in a Christian home and held pro-life beliefs, yet when you’ve chosen not to walk closely with God, the enemy’s voice certainly gets loud.  Even though I had convictions about what was right and wrong, when I was faced with a crisis situation, my convictions didn’t hold very firmly in light of my loose grip on Christ.  The first unexpected pregnancy scared me to death and caused me to wonder what people would think of me.  My fear of others usurped my fear of God and in the end I gave in to the lie that I could quietly end my crisis and go back to my life as I knew it.  However, an abortion doesn’t remove the trauma, it only adds to it.  So instead of finding relief from all the negative thoughts and fears that I had been facing, they simply shifted and changed.  I began having thoughts of self-loathing and I felt like I was no good and would never amount to anything.  Instead of allowing my poor choices to snap me back to truth, I hardened my heart to attempt to cope with the pain that I was feeling inside and I ended up finding myself pregnant again almost exactly a year later. 

This time I was determined to do things differently.  I decided that I was going to carry to term and relinquish for adoption.  Yet my relationship with the Lord hadn’t improved over the last year since my first unplanned pregnancy, as I had chosen instead to harden my heart even further.  So when the enemy’s voice once again began to shout in my ear about how my life was ruined and I’d never amount to anything and everyone would judge me for being a pregnant teenager, I couldn’t handle the pressure and I once again booked another abortion.  Yet despite the fact that I hadn’t drawn near to God, he never let go of me.  The week that my second abortion was booked for my youth pastor was preaching the Sunday sermon and he spoke of how no matter what we’re going through, no matter what challenges we’re facing, if we choose to walk in obedience to God he would be with us every step of the way and help us through it.  I not only cried through the whole service, as I knew that message was for me, but something in me broke and softened and I knew that God was calling me to carry to term.  I cancelled my abortion and began making plans to meet with a Christian adoption agency instead. 

As wonderful as that story sounds, I continued to fight many daily battles. I felt very alone and very scared.  I listened to the enemy’s words about my worth and I believed them.  I didn’t want ANYONE to know my secret and so I went into hiding.  The months until I went into labour were very isolating; however, they are also the months that God used to draw me closer to Him and when my relationship with God began to flourish. I not only turned back to him, but he filled me and strengthened me.  I began to recognize his voice and I drew strength and courage from his word.

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and relinquished him for adoption to a wonderful Christian couple.  After that time in my life, God continued to shape me, refine me, and draw me closer and closer to him. I received healing from my abortion and desperately wanted other women who were facing unplanned pregnancies to know that they were not alone and I was determined to find a way to support them. 

Years went by, I got married, graduated university and had children.  Since we chose to homeschool, I really felt the Lord confirming to me that the season of ministry that I was in was within the walls of my own home to my children.  As the children grew up the desire to once again reach other women facing an unplanned pregnancy began to rise in me and when my last son was in his final year of highschool I began to volunteer at the Pregnancy & Resource Centre – Brant in Brantford ON, any time during the week where he was involved in an extracurricular activity.  That then led to becoming employed there and meeting one on one with others who were facing unplanned pregnancies!  I was in complete awe that I was enabled to come alongside others in this way and I couldn’t believe that God had redeemed the mess that I had made of my life when I was younger. 

Yet that is exactly who God is and what he does.  He is our Redeemer!  He came that we may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10). Although the ways of the world may seem appealing, we need to stay alert and recognize that that is precisely one of the strategies of the enemy. He’s not going to get very far if he’s trying to lure us with something we’re not interested in.  The enemy knows our weaknesses and he uses them to lure us away from all that is true and all that will fill us with peace and joy.  He’s been a murderer and a liar since the beginning (John 8:44).  A sweet friend of mine always quotes a saying her mom used to share when she was growing up, “Go with what you know, not with how you feel!”  Our feelings are so deceitful and fickle that we can feel one way when we go to bed at night and the very next morning after a good night’s sleep, we can feel completely differently.  Yet God never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).  God’s word tells us that nothing is too difficult for God (Jeremiah 32:17), not even the mistakes that we make when we have caved to listening to the enemy’s lies and have fallen into a trap making a mess of things.  God can redeem any mess! 

If you are still breathing, then there is still hope that he can turn things around and even miraculously use the mistakes you’ve made to bring glory and honour to his name! God loves you, He is for you, and he wants you to live an abundant life in Him! He doesn’t require perfection; he only requires a willing heart and one that attempts to walk in obedience to him!  If you feel like God could never use you, that it’s too late and there’s no hope for you or that he could never redeem the decisions you’ve made, take comfort not only from my story, but also from Scripture that he can redeem anything!  Go back to what you know to be true, get in his Word and walk in truth and freedom, sweet Sister!

(*If you, or anyone you know, has experienced an abortion and would like healing from it, contact your local pregnancy centre or contact our office and we can direct you to one that is local for you (519)756-3787; www.bpcentre.org)