“Just be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”

As I drive our familiar route to dance practice, I keep my eyes open for the motivational quotes that often line the side of the road. I usually see ones that catch my eye, and this time is no different. It stood out immediately: “Just be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” 

This one resonated because, as moms, we often compare ourselves to other moms without even realizing it. This subconscious comparison game can indicate that, on some level, we consider ourselves unworthy of being who God created us to be, and this can create a longing for the lives of others instead of loving, accepting and blooming right where you are. I get it; I’ve been there before and can still fall for the lie. It’s easy to watch other moms and question yourself:

“How does she do it? Her kids look so well-behaved.”

“I wish my kids sat like that during church.”

“Maybe I should join a zillion groups so my kids will fit in and can try it all.”

“If I could only cook and bake like her”

“Maybe I should put my kids in that school.”

“If I could only…”

You fill in the blank.

All of these comparisons happen initially in our heads, then they move into our hearts and eventually translate into words and actions without even realizing it, manifesting as an unexpected upset, angry, frustrated, and (ultimately) unsatisfied tone.

So how can we stop this spiral before it spins out of control?

For me, it’s all about community. Surrounding myself with life-giving friends and family, as well as finding joy, comfort and support in my husband. It’s a hope-giving way to combat comparison and those feelings of unworthiness that cloud our judgement and blind us to all how we embody and experience blessings. I have been blessed with many women in my life who have let me rant, patiently listened while I asked for prayer, passed me Kleenex while I shed many tears and pointed me to THE ONE that can truly satisfy all my longings- Jesus. I still need this support, and I always will! But most important of all is knowing who I am in Christ. Who are you surrounding yourself with lately? Who is your best champion, encourager and hope-giver?

Take a moment to soak in words from the psalmist in Psalm 139

I love how this psalm reminds us of some very important truths:

God knows us (v.2)
God knows our ways (v.3)
God knows what we are going to say before we even say it? (v.4)
His hand is upon us (v.5)
He cares for us (v.5-12)
He created us (v.13-16)

He created you, He knows you, and He loves you! As a mom, your role is not to impress the neighbours, the hockey, soccer or gymnastics moms. It’s not to distinguish yourself as the Best Mom Ever because of all the music, arts, and science fairs you signed your kids up for. You have been created to love your kids, love others, love God and as believers, show them Jesus, not just tell them! (Mark 12:30-31)

By the work of the Holy Spirit, those in our sphere of influence will, by God’s grace, see God’s love; this can never be done well on our strength. A spirit-filled life means the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) will overflow into our moments and days, including the mundane things like diaper changes, laundry, carpooling, meal planning, shopping, balancing work and home, time with your husband, bible study, church, friends, fitness and whatever else fills up your days!
Our attitude reflects Christ because He lives in us and is changing us to be more like him. It’s not just about going to church on Sunday. Jesus is in all of our moments and days!

If we let the world counsel us, we will be left grasping at the latest fad or parenting hack, and our homes will become a place of exhaustion, not peace. We can’t keep up with the world, and if we make that our goal, we will become vessels that remain empty and void of a peace that passes all understanding. Let Jesus guard your heart and mind as you love your kids. Always hold onto the rock-solid truth of God’s Word and let that be your parenting mandate! Our children are a gift from God to raise for His glory, not ours. 

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.  Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7)

My sense of purpose can’t come from what others think- that is fear controlling my life! It can’t be in what my kids will do or where they will end up-that is a lack of faith in what God is capable of. And it can’t come from what I accomplish as a mom. If I build my sense of self on these things, I will wind up ungrateful, unsatisfied and turn my sight away from Christ. Instead, my purpose and my sense of self must come from  God. This is where Psalm 34:5 speaks life into me, “Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.” 

Dear mom, when you wake and put your feet on the ground, think of the rock-solid truth that you stand on found in the Word of God first! All other ground is sinking sand (Matthew 7:24-27). You have such a significant role to play in your home and beyond the walls where you lay your head to rest at night. There is only one you, created to be exactly who your kids need. Trust me; I get it; countless times, I have felt I am not up to the task of raising human beings! But then I remember that God has given me these five incredible blessings, and he will equip me (and already has time and time again!).

I am responsible for living out God’s plan for my life as a mom, yes, but first and foremost, as the king’s daughter. When I lean into him through prayer, reading the word and surrounding myself with others, I am guided even when I feel weak, unworthy, lost, sad, lonely and defeated. 

Remember:
Gratitude kills joylessness.
Gratitude kills comparison.
Gratitude leads us toward grace!

 

Musical blessing for you today!

I love this song by Cliff Cline. It’s based on one of my favourite Psalms (121) and sums up my heart today.

 

More beautiful music to enjoy by Anne Wilson – My Jesus