(Best part of photo is my dad right behind us!)

 

As I stumbled upon a picture from the past, when my youngest was a sweet little toddler, I was struck by the beauty of our children’s journey. They start by clinging to us, almost for dear life, and then, as they grow, this hold transforms into a release. It’s a journey of letting go, both for them and us, a journey that is as beautiful as it is inevitable.
I remember when my firstborn got his license and the first time he drove down the driveway without me. For almost 18 years, I was the primary driver, and then I passed him the keys.

There’s no warning for that moment; there’s no preparation. You just had to walk into that time and live it!

My oldest was in grade 12, and my second born was in grade 10; they were at the same high school for one year, and they drove out of our long country lane, and off they went, and we’ve never looked back. Then the next one happened, the next one, and now our fourth. It is still just as overwhelming and emotional every time because I look at the moments we had together in the car, treasured times. We spent so much time together in the car heading to school, dance, hockey, whatever it may be. Sometimes, they slept and listened to music, and there were also many golden moments of fantastic conversation. I don’t like wasting moments! Even this morning, I had a wonderful opportunity to listen, ask questions and pray with one of my girls on the way to school.

Kids naturally hold onto us as moms, more than just physically! It’s hard for us to let go, and it can be challenging for them too! Why is that?

For our kids, letting go is part of growing up, and for us, it’s fully trusting God for the next steps our kids take – away from us and outside of our home. Watching our kids step out is like one of those trust exercises when you fall back into the arms of someone. As believers, we lean into the arms of our Heavenly Father and commit our kids to Him through constant prayer. But our flesh is weak; I know mine is, and I can easily succumb to fear and anxiety. But I can’t stay there and neither can you! That is why you must tell a friend, have them pray you through this, and speak truth over you – a sisterhood of trusted friends in your life because you can’t do this alone.

It’s also a reminder that if I let my kids become my entire world when they go off to college/university or move out, you might feel lost and say to yourself, “Now what?” It’s okay to feel that and ask questions! Trust me; I have been there and still am in my new season. At the same time, that is why we need to have windows of time to nurture our souls and the gifts and abilities that God has given us, find ways to serve others and grow in our understanding of the Bible by joining a Bible study, joining a gym, creating a neighbourhood gathering for a book club, going back to school doing night classes. Carving out time for you takes work and creativity but is worth the effort.

Even when my kids were really young, I tried to carve out time for some creative interests. I took guitar lessons and a watercolour class. I just enjoyed something different, and I could practice at home. I didn’t have to wait for my lessons to continue creating. I planned for babysitters so my husband and I could head out for a dinner date; I joined the local YMCA with a group of homeschooling moms so the kids had activities while we would work out and then enjoy a coffee and conversation – so life-giving!

As a mom of five, I know how hard it is to find time for yourself. People often asked me when I got a break. I can’t explain it except that in God‘s goodness and kindness, I felt like I had windows of time that nurtured my soul. Some days were simply one challenge after another, and I was utterly exhausted, and there was no break; that is real life! Did it take effort? Yes, you know what I’m talking about! Sometimes, getting those kids out the door can be the most challenging part of your day.

When your little ones are holding onto you, hold them close, love them, be with them, and do all those wonderful, beautiful things you have the time to do now. One day, they will get their license, drive down the driveway into the world, and become mini-adults. It’s a beautiful thing to celebrate and a time to release them. Let them go in the Lord’s hands, soaked in prayer.

Dear Lord, help me to hold my children close but you closer. I invite you into my moments and days to serve you where I am today. Guide me as I meet my family’s, neighbours’, and friends’ needs. I know I need you, and I call out to you for wisdom and grace to be the mom you have called me to be. Your mercies are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. Thank you for the season that I am in, and help me honour you in these moments. Amen

When Jesus went to Gethsemane before his betrayal, arrest and ultimate death on the cross, he went to pray and asked them to remain and watch. Jesus went to pray and returned to the disciples, who were asleep! Jesus says they must watch and pray so they won’t all fall into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. This passage is a reminder for me to be on guard and prayerful!

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.”  And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”  And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:36-41)

Some of you may have heard this song by my niece Mallory (Balmer) Santiago. I hope it is a blessing to you today as you listen to her sing Her Prayer.